Spring Equinox – The Spiritual Backdrop

Spring Equinox is almost upon us, and as always I like to give you the ‘gen’ on what this should and could be about, what’s celestially occurring in the Northern Hemisphere, and enough time to prepare anything you may like to do to mark the occasion…. Other than deprive yourself of chocolate for 40 days, why would anyone want to put themselves through that, then stuff your face silly! For my Southern Hemisphere readers, it is reversed, summer ends and autumn begins. Some may be know this day as the Vernal Equinox or March Equinox.

For Pagans and Wiccans alike, we call this season change from dark winter to brightening spring, Ostara….Which sounds curiously like Easter, wouldn’t you agree? And, is in fact the event the Christo’s re-packaged as the rebirth of Jesus C, now more commonly known as Easter.

And who was Ostara? A Northern European goddess of fertility, no less, who was worshipped in many areas populated by Germanic tribes…. Anthropologically significant, for those with an interest in the migration of earlier human beings. Her name is pronounced ‘OH-star-ah’, and this celebration can also be knows as, Alban Eiler, Rites of Spring, Eostra’s Day, Lady Day or Bacchanalia. And, it symbolises balance, renewal, action, beginnings, hope, new possibilities.

This is the first Equinox of the year, and with it we are marking the moment the Sun crosses the celestial equator, the imaginary line in the sky above the Earth’s equator. This is officially the first day of spring, and in Latin means “equal night,” referring to the roughly 12-hour day and 12-hour night that occurs only on the two equinox days of the year. As is often the case, this year ‘Easter’ will be celebrated on the 20th April, as opposed to the 20th March, when celestially it will actually happen…. At 21:58 to be precise, please take note!

Traditionally, this was a day of equilibrium, being neither harsh winter nor merciless summer, and was a time of childish wonder. Houses were decorated with flowers and painted eggs; painting eggs was a custom among Druids and ancient Eastern European cultures, and the rabbit/hare has always been a symbol of fertility. And being a fertility festival, everyone got their seeds blessed, prior to their planting. Traditional colours being, light green, lemon yellow and pale pink, in harmony with what was available in Nature.

Clearly, some elements of the Old Religion never fully disappeared, just check out the local supermarkets for walls of chocolate eggs and bunnies, bunches of daffodils (FYI, poisonous to cats) and potted hyacinths and primulas. Unsurprisingly, not many of us know what they represent, though some are ‘lenting’ (started on 6th March runs to 18th April )and will gorge on chocolate at Easter, and just feel financially pressured into buying a shed load of chocolate for our kids! 20 chocolate eggs/bunnies = I Love You at Easter in 2019….dontcha know!

On a spiritual plane, which is where I’d like to draw you, not only for a slimmer waist line, but to give your life some spiritual depth, this is a time to free yourself from anything hindering your progress….Aka holding you back; Noxious relationships, demoralising jobs, addictions, a life of crime etc. Thus, this involves creating spells for self-banishing or gaining things we have lost, like our self-esteem, joie de vivre or things we’d like to have, like positive feelings towards our fellow human beings, less road/commuter rage, inner peace.

In mythological terms, the burgeoning daylight and warmth from the sun’s advance, represents his moving from infancy towards maturity and thus the Goddess (aka Mother Nature) coming into her full power. Practical manifestations of these things being, the eruption of buds and blossoms, the return of our invaluable pollinators, the bees. Winter is regarded as truly at an end, spending time outside no longer requires a jumper, we can enjoy the gently kiss of the sun upon our skin. NB. We all know we can get snow in April, Prince committed it to song, but you get the gist! For those of us with sun ‘cancery’ prone skin, like my own ivory tones, enjoying the sun is now possible, before his embrace becomes too passionate and scalding!

So here is what you can do to mark the occasion, in varying levels, to be self-selected dependent on your experience and time available…. This is accessible magic, and after all, who will know what you chose — not that there is any judgement emanating from these parts!

For those seeking elementary spiritual access, a good spring clean of your house is in order. This physical activity, will by its very nature, give your mind the space to focus on mental clarity around how you wish to live and re-affirm your commitments to taking care of your soul. On a purely practical level, it will purify any negative energies and facilitate the getting rid of any unnecessary crap you’ve inadvertently accumulated. It’s in our very nature to perform these spring cleans anyhow, just look at the free ads and number of jumble sales starting up….There is no coincidence.

If you can’t face that, then now is the time to tidy the garden/plant your window boxes, turn over the vegetable plot and plant your seeds. As you do this, bless them in your mind and recognise and appreciate their impending, challenging, growth journey performed for you….Their gift.

And if that all proves too physical, why not hand paint an egg, channelling all your intentions whilst you paint….

For those equipped with an altar and or cauldron, honour the energies of this time by decorating the latter with fresh flowers and/or a young small potted plant, or two. Use the flower petals to mark your sacred circle, and fill your cauldron with fresh spring water (obtained from your water butt or local river/stream) to float petals upon. Additionally, you can adorn the altar with images/paintings of hares, or your own hand decorated eggs; it is sooooo therapeutic painting your own eggs. Candles should be in the afore mentioned pastel shades and morsels to eat could include eggs you’ve blown from their shells – cooked of course, sprouts, seasonal young greens or delicious chocolate. Focus spells on balance and renewal, remembering to use only positive words, the Universe can’t discern the difference in the Law of Attraction.

And so, I wish you a felicitous Ostara! x

Our Journey’s Purpose

In the aftermath of my Father’s life ending, a friend lent me a book she felt would help me through my grief. This was Journey of Souls by Michael Newton, a collection of case studies from past lives regressions. And help it really did, by reminding me that we’re all on our own paths, and will be reunited with loved ones once we’re finished. I circulated a lovely mem on my Celtic Witch Facebook page the other day, the message was an earthly goodbye is an afterlife welcoming back. So it’s really ‘au revoir’ and not goodbye, we only loose each other for a bit and certainly not forever!

The author initially stumbled upon these past lives as a by-product of his hypnotherapy trying to help clients through trauma in this life, and became fascinated with the connection betwixt the two. In a nut shell, and for those who can’t be arsed to read the whole thing, we all come from the ‘source’, which is conscious energy. We’re at varying levels of awareness around this, basic only kicks in after 5 lives, and our earthly purpose is about learning a lesson we agreed to learn before we were born, in order to progress our overall knowledge and understanding….to evolve…

Aura’s, comes in only a few colours, ranging from new soul white or grey, then white mixed with a little of any of the primary colours to intermediate yellow, which darkens and coverts to light blue, which darkens and turns into purple. By the time, which can take thousands of life times and years, we’ve achieved a blue level we stop incarnating and become the ones to help metaphysically create nature and form the higher consciousness. Auras are the force fields of energy, certain beings can see emanating from us, the frequency we vibrate at…The form of light we radiate being proportional to the power of our knowledge and perception…We’re just like stars!

Interestingly, the youngest souls are the ones which have accumulated the most material wealth and power…..This is how we judge success in Today’s World isn’t it??? It’s impossible to get super rich or powerful without fucking over a lot of people on the way up…. And really rich people then find themselves stuck in a vicious circle of trying to protect and maintain their wealth to the cost of everything and everybody else…working 24/7, being ridiculously tight fisted, ripping others off and believing their above everyone else etc….

The humblest of people tend to be the most spiritually advanced, feeling compassion towards other people and the planet, driven to more meaningful ways of contributing to the whole…not caught up in self-serving. Recognising the connection between us all, we are one, part of the same thing. I call these people, witches, committed to helping in whichever way we can. Motivated by the happiness gained from making a positive difference beyond all else.

So next time your made to feel envy by the constant barrage of media messages telling you you need all this plastic crap to feel worthy, remind yourself that you really don’t need to succumb to these subliminal messages sent by some fear-filled rich person trying to maintain their wealth. Having a new set of mugs will not bring you anywhere near the same level of joy helping another being will, or taking a moment to immerse yourself in the natural World in all its glory and wonder. And if that promotion at work comes at the price of someone else’s head, don’t do it, a clear conscious is worth more than all the gold in the World.

In Japan they have Forest Bathing, Shinrin Yoku, complete with scientific proof for the numerous healing benefits to be had from spending time with trees.

Another lovely message I got from this book was that apart from choosing our lessons, parents, siblings and friends, we pre-agree our departure and the style of it. The point of it to further deepen the learning of those left behind. Thus, meaning that no matter how horrendous or premature someone’s death is, they knew about it and were complicit in it. That’s quite something isn’t it… a revolution in thinking. And apparently, if you miscarry…. I’ve had 3 failed pregnancies, it’s often the same soul that comes through. It’s all about deepening our understanding and learning.

The good news is that Earth is the harshest place for life, the spirit world is far more delightful and caring. We’re attracted to the challenge of a life on earth because of the physical beauty of it, it maybe harsh and sometimes brutal but it is also amazing. When each of our lives on this planet ends, we return to the spirit world to be healed, processing our learning and mistakes, in order to be restored to life again with the purpose to evolve. 

I can’t recommend this book enough.x

My Freak & Screech on Bleach!

Papa don’t bleach, even tho the dirt is deep, Papa don’t bleach, I’ve been losing skin…. And I’m running out of time, it’s killing me baby. It goes too deep baby! (cribbed poorly from Madonna’s Papa Don’t Preach)

Yeah ok it sort of works, in a loose sense, however, after you’ve read this little freak out on bleach I’m sure you’ll be more in tune…

Got to write this one about the hideous poison that is Bleach, indiscriminate destroyer of ALL life forms… Which I am always amazed to discover is still so widely welcomed into our homes, offices & lives in general. The noxious smell alone should be enough to warn you of its lethal capacity, yet I know some of you have normalised this foul odour, even drawing comfort from its destructive prowess…. NOTHING can survive after a good dose of Bleach! 

So, what exactly is Bleach? In fact, it’s just the generic name given to any chemical product that not only leaches the colour from whatever it has the misfortune to come in contact with, but also weakens the very fibres of it. People use it to strip their hair down to a ‘perceived’ more attractive colour, some even like to lighten their anuses with it?! I have to question the sanity of those that take the time to perform this painful, somewhat pointless procedure. Firstly, who has the time to whiten their anus? Surely, there are more important, meaningful ways to spend your precious life?  Secondly, how has that even become a thing? If your partner doesn’t appreciate the colour of your bum hole, are they really worth it? And finally, how much body dysmorphia does one need to possess to resort to taking it out on their arsehole? Clearly, I don’t bleach mine and TBH it’s not an area I favour hanging around, given its purpose and smell….(I seriously hope your smiling and not vomming at this point in…)

Anyway, I digress, back to the main focus of my bitch, the generic household variety bleach, a nasty combo of chlorine, caustic soda, and water. The chlorine and caustic soda are produced by putting direct current electricity through a sodium chloride salt solution, in a process called electrolysis…. All very Frankenstein! And, just in case you didn’t know, chlorine in its truest form, is a toxic corrosive gas. Which means, if you aren’t handling your chemical weapon with due care and accidentally mix it with acid (regular toilet cleaners usually contain acid) or ammonia…Congratulations, you’ve just created a deadly poisonous gas, which can kill you or anyone else in the vicinity! What gives this killer away is at first a sore throat…followed swiftly by unconsciousness….rounding up with death…NICE… 

The biggest issue with this powerful germicide is its indiscriminate nature, it simply exterminates everything.  And we need good bacteria in our lives and upon our persons; our children are getting ill from all this extreme sanitisation! Our homes need to be living organisms, like our bodies… And no, I am not giving you an excuse to be a dirty bastard, you still need a clean house, just one clear of harmful viruses and life-threatening bacteria……..just like our guts.

And so, I ask you would you pour bleach into your fish tank or pond? I think not, but you’re happy to pour it down the drains….?! And what about the poor life forms who exist in these dank places? Bleach actually attacks the proteins in a fish, causing it’s cells to die….With plants, who need a higher dose for death, it starves them slowly by stopping them getting the nutrients they need from the soil…. A drawn out painful ending! I know we think plants can’t feel anything, but evidence is starting to appear that they do… Then, where do you think these drains lead to? Our water ways; rivers, lakes, reservoirs and seas! Just important natural environments, we rely upon for our very existence! environment.  Yes, you can argue that it only takes large quantities to wreak the afore mentioned damage, however, if everyone is using a little, it quickly accumulates.

If you’ve managed to disregard the point above, you can’t ignore critical facts, such as our skin being porous; It takes only 20 seconds for anything on its surface to enter our blood streams! And even if you’re totally ‘gloved-up’, it’s still getting in via your olfactory system, aka our noses and sinuses; Anything we breathe in enters our Hypothalamus (visceral control centre).  This crucial organ controls our physiological function, by communicating with our Pituitary gland…. The latter being responsible for managing our hunger, blood pressure, thyroid function, memory, sleep cycle and sex hormones…… So, if your using bleach to clean anything, you come in direct contact with it one way or another and are actually absorbing it in the truest sense.  Another way to fuck yourself up from the inside out, because life isn’t difficult enough!

So, I’m asking you to stop channelling your inner ‘Chemical Ali’, give your drains, brains and anuses a break from all this hazardous danger. Face your fears, what’s the worst thing that’s going to crawl out of your toilet bowl? I can promise you won’t suddenly find yourself starring in a ‘germy’ version of Aliens. 

Please consider more natural ways to get your house ‘clean’, hair ‘sun-kissed’ and life meaning…. Forget about bleaching your anus, it’s a step too far, you don’t need that in your life unless it’s in your job description! 

Instead can I draw your attention to the power of Essential Oils, derived from nature, sustainable, toxin-free, bio-degradable and actually good for you! Fantastic household cleaning replacements include, Clove, Eucalyptus, Lemon, Lavender, Melaleuca, Rosemary, Thyme and Wild Orange. These beauties are ‘anti’ every type of nasty germ you can think of, whilst simultaneously preserving the integrity of the good ones. All have uplifting aromas, to improve your overall cleaning experience, their touch more beneficial to your body and the rest of nature. And they are so versatile, you can clean your bog with them, flavour your food with them or improve your general health and wellbeing. By using Essential Oils to clean, you stand a chance of actually enjoying cleaning… Yeah I am serious, it is possible!

For your hair, I recommend Lemon, Chamomile or Cinnamon oil…..They have a very pleasing scent and will again offer you a toxin-free touch that promises to enhance not damage your personal health and wellness….And again, they can offer so much more than that.

Yes, I know I sell all these oils and give training, and you may think I’ve written this as a shameless plug to get more business…. But I really haven’t, please remove Bleach from your Life, that’s all I ask! x

CBD Oil – Get Lubed not High!

I’ve been meaning to write this blog for a while, but I really wanted to make sure I could back up what I was writing before I committed my fingers to the keys. Having gone too Scotland minus my CBD oil & thus experiencing a low-grade lock-up by the time I returned a week later, (something I’m very prone to with my Joint Hyper-mobility Syndrome & menopause combo) …the time is nigh. 


I got into trying this because a friend of mine sells it & I’d enjoyed many years of cannabis smoking in my youth, so felt drawn to the familiarity of it. I’d tried another similar product in recent years, created in Glastonbury no less, but that was way too potent & parenting ‘stoned’ was far too scary…. Plus, it gave me the munchies & I’m trying to lose weight not put it on!

Here’s a definition for this little beauty:

Cannabidiol is a popular natural remedy used for many common ailments. Better known as CBD, it is one of the 104 chemical compounds known as cannabinoids found in the cannabis or marijuana plant, Cannabis sativa.


So, you can’t get high from using it, though some report feeling slightly more chilled post application, & some find it helps with insomnia. I have to say it doesn’t work that way for me, for me it keeps my joints oiled so I don’t rust up like the Tin man….. For my friend who sells it, she suffers from chronic arthritis in her knees, it keeps her mobile & pain free. Imagine that, side-effect free…. What have you got to lose from trying it?


You can buy it from her at https://www.indioils.com 

I recommend you start off at the lowest possible dose, which is all I need once a day. She uses a high dose several times a day, but that’s instead of pharmaceutical medication & to treat chronic arthritis. I reckon this is an excellent, natural remedy hack, suited to those stiffening the wrong way with old age! Please do let me know if you decide to try it & how you find it, or if you are already onto this one.x


Coke, Therapy & Scotland

Long-time no scribe, apologies if you’ve missed my rants. 2019, after being immobilised by grief for December/January, has seen me trying to sort my shit out…on every level!

I figured in order to grow my fledgling business, I finally needed to figure out ‘how to’ Instagram. Which sounds more like a cocaine delivery service to me, anyone else? To manifest this new level of intelligence, I went on an Insta course. Fortuitously, there were only a couple of younger more able bodies so I didn’t feel totally overwhelmed, tho we got painfully hung up on #’s (hashtags) for an age! Personally, it’s not my bag to offer a visual window into my life, I prefer to bare my all with words, retaining a modicum of anonymity. However, as I’m sure you already know, Insta don’t work like that, so I’ve had to condense my verbosity into hashtag soundbites…..Which probably make sweet FA sense, I’m certainly picking up some unusual followers, but hey I am trying!

Tho I do have to admit to feeling rather put out by all the time & effort it takes to pull all this ‘apparently’ necessary social media off! I’m seriously time poor, my pre-Insta Life was already jammed…And this has sprouted a new irritation, nostalgia for the good old days of only print media …. pre-social media…Yet another annoying sign that I’m #gettingold! #arse #pastit

Coupled with this, and as promised, I slung my bereaved self into therapy, ha! I didn’t reckon upon, despite 30 years of previous, a weekly unearthing of many traumatized skeletons I’d happily buried. I will acknowledge, this rather costly self-awareness does mean I’m powering through, but Jesus Christ it’s painful and does require me to spend yet more precious time silently retreating and absorbing.

Since Dad died, all I’ve wanted to do was escape to Scotland, our Mother Country, to mourn in peace. Well, I managed to finally pull that off & we were ensconced in an antiquated, damp, smelly but beautiful old cottage with the most amazing views, in the arse end of nowhere….so remote there was no phone signal…really absolutely nothing! The uninsulated upstairs, was doll sized, accessed only by a slippery spiral staircase of doom…. Journey time, requiring serious consideration, was around 3 minutes in either direction…making me feel ancient! There were storage heaters throughout…. imagine the temperature of coastal Scotland in February!

For any real heat we were reliant on a coal fire…. the regular building of this made my ‘fire-starter’ spouse mucho happy…but there was only 1, in the living room. So, he spent all his time in there when we’re were able to be in….at night…not helping me to heat up our equally doll sized double bed. This 90’s pine creation, smelt of wet dog…. I cannot express in words alone, how much I absolutely hate the smell of wet dog…..I oiled that bed to the point it almost didn’t creak anymore, in a bid to mitigate the noxious odour…

Of course, being prone to family holiday fantasies, as per norm I hadn’t factored in a few fundamental realities…. The peace I’d craved couldn’t be mine, I’d forgotten how annoying my kids can get in close proximity unless regularly exercised, which given the driving rain has been a challenge to deliver upon…. but we have largely managed/had to. This holiday’s best being, a mad long, heavily intoxicating walk beside the A814 motorway through Glasgow on our way to the Transport Museum, mistakenly believing it would be a short leisurely stroll down by the riverside…The kids slept well after that one…And sadly, prolonged external exposure has been limited by cheap clothing….. heavy rain penetrates after an hour! Further complicated by having no drying facility in our magnificent holiday abode…..apart from in front of the fire….so the living room resembled a Chinese laundry! All in all, = Nowhere to sit, cogitate & or write…..

Another excursion worthy of note, walking the tidal, rocky, stony spit to Davaar Island in gale force winds & rain. It was a memory hack for a journey I did with my Father around 20 years ago. He dragged me there to see a cave painting of Jesus an ancestor apparently ‘touched up’…as in paint, we hope! We got 3/4s of the way to the cave before the wet, slippery rocks became a death knell & hyper-mobile Laurie & I had to turn back. The tidal access, initially attractive for its element of risk, even had my husband a little spooked in the inclement conditions…. It caused sheer torture for poor Laurie…who spent the entire 2 hours in panic mode, constantly checking with me that the sea wasn’t coming back in to trap us!

On the way back Lani insisted on being allowed to try to climb ‘the mountain’ as we hadn’t made it to the cave! Out of guilt, I felt we had to let her do this?! But of course, I could afford to be generous, my buggered knee excludes me from indulging these crazy whims…but not my husband…. Lol, why is it so enjoyable watching your partner being tortured in this manner??? Though I immediately regretted pandering to my parental guilt when I lost sight of both within 5 minutes, for far too long. Thank fuck we’d just kitted her out with a new pair of sparkly silver wellies, and I force him to wear a bright orange anorak (which is uber cool but he thinks he looks like he’s a Sainsbury’s employee, so is less keen), I kid you not, those 2 bright items where the only things I could spot on that mountain in the driving rain & darkened sky.

Our holiday is now at an end, we have over 600 miles to drive to get home but on the plus side we didn’t visit A&E for once!!!!…Or have I spoken too soon????? I’m not sure what a perfect holiday looks like to me anymore, I’m certainly tangled in who needs to be there apart from me…. Similarly, self-catering hell or not…? I hate cooking at the best of times, I am entirely self-taught with no desire for the detail required for successful recipes. However, we’re cursed to be a gluten free family, out of medical necessity not fashion! This makes food sourcing & production a ball-ache from Hades, which cannot be remedied by hotel living, unless it’s a very expensive do…. thus, not in my price bracket!

We certainly all LOVE Scotland, all the fresh air, spaces to run in, mountains & castles to climb and beaches to comb…. It can’t be beaten for beautiful, dramatic scenery, even the rural sheep are as white as snow! The only shame is the food, which though plentiful still tends towards beige & unhealthy…. but is it improving slowly. #maccheeseandchipsanyone

Bike-gate – Another Family Fantasy Fail?

This one will be less about the Celtic witch and all about the mama! My response to my small son’s patent screen addiction, another idiot, unrealistic, family expectation! I decided the answer lay in getting us ALL to participate in an outdoor family friendly activity. For this ridiculous notion, I chose bicycles, naively believing this was the simplest of solutions?!

Okay, so Laurie can’t really ride his bike, and because he can’t ride it to perfection he isn’t even interested in trying…And my husband didn’t even have a bike, so we certainly didn’t have a roof rack! But I wasn’t going to let a few fundamentals like that get in the way of my romantic ideal!? Details schemeetails…..

I tried to materialise my family fantasy last weekend….ordering my husband to get himself kitted out on the Friday. Neglecting to remember, him being of the asparagus variety, would be incapable of a simple quick fix but more of an in-depth research project! Needless to say, a bike did not appear until this weekend but give him his due, it was as cheap as chips….

He, whilst high on his cheap prize, went wide in the aisles of Halfords and splashed out not only on a cheap bike-rack but also what’s known on the streets as a ‘tail gator’. A genius solution for those wishing to partake on a family bike ride, in-spite of their lazy little tyke. This costly contraption connects the kid bike to the adult bike, so basically all the kid has to do is hold on tight…sweet FA on the effort front and perfect for my son!

My husband set about putting it all together on Saturday afternoon, falsely believing and sharing that he would easily finish it all on Sunday morning! After all, how difficult could it be putting together a roof rack and this tail thing….people do this shit all the time don’t they??? A further 2.5 hours later, the sun well and truly over the yardarm, I stuffed 2 hungry kids in the car and disappeared, in a cloud of exasperation, to the nearest pub.

I have to confess, we were all incredibly surprised to see him rock up with the bikes over an hour later….we’d given up! Unfortunately, the peddle on one, had broken the rear wiper off! #Happiness. And decided despite the on/off rain showers, to proceed with my crazy plan…After all that bloody effort, we were seeing this through!

Within 30 seconds everyone, except me, my bike has mudguards, was covered in heavy duty mud splatters. No matter, clothes can be washed right….We miraculously did managed quite a few miles before the sky turned threatening and I demanded we return. Not being a regular biker, I didn’t fancy being stuck miles from the safety of the car with 2 small drenched children. This was met with moans and groans from all and sundry, joy breaker that I was. However, I was right as always! The journey back was predictably incident rich, my daughter’s chain came off, son discovered that by secretly applying his breaks he could slow his Dad down…. cue a load of expletives from my husband when he found out…child-friendly of course!

Again, of course it took an inordinate length of time to get those wretched mud splattered bikes back onto the rack, in the rain….And in doing so, anything that wasn’t already covered in mud became coated! I thought I was being clever by covering their car seats in black plastic bags, nah it didn’t….the mud found a way….

When we got home in the nearly dark, we faced a bloody mountain of unavoidable tasks! Stripping everyone before they made it past the backdoor and covered the house, washing coats in time for school, getting the bikes off the rack and washed down in the cold, cleaning out both cars, whilst small voices screamed for more food…arrgggggggg, no sitting back with a bottle for us!!! Absolutely fucking exhausting…..

So was it worth it???? All that time, expense, effort for maybe an hour of riding……The kids loved it, my husband’s determined to get his money’s worth but I’ve got a very sore arse….Maybe in Spring when its dry!

This is not us, I’m not that thin!

My Parenting Struggles – I’m sure climbing an ice mountain in high heels would be easier!

This blog is going to be about the struggles I face trying to raise my kids, and as you can expect, will be excruciatingly honest! Yes I could get into trouble for this, but actually its got so bad I welcome any professional support, and intrinsically I know for some of you my story will resonate and help. And although I could try to place the blame at Society’s feet, the reality is just that some of us really struggle with raising our kids and its been that way for a lot of people for a very long time, if not forever. It’s probably karmic, a choice made before a lifetime starts, for the purposes of spiritual growth. I believe that, but these beliefs aren’t keeping my soul warm or making this parenting journey any easier. I spend a lot of my energetic time, (this means not noticeable from the outside but occurring within) on my knees, floored, pulling my hair out from the lethal combination of frustration, horror and deep anguish.

Before I had kids I put Myself through years of therapy, attempting to mitigate the troubles and strife I’d experienced growing up. This gave me clear insight into the destructive circles that existed within my immediate and wider family, and the ways they had almost destroyed me. And I was determined to stop that happening to my kids and I remain determined to do everything in my power to break those vicious circles. Whatever that may come to mean, whatever I need to do, because they are my kids and I love them beyond myself. This also means sometimes I can hate them too, for all the suffering raising them brings me; such a fine line betwixt the two..hashtag keeping it real folks!

The key phrase in the above paragraph is ‘my power’, because what has, keeps and does happen, is that my kids inadvertently press my triggers and despite all this understanding, I loose my power, sanity and ability to cope the way I want. This sends me spinning back to what’s inherent, my anima, my default, and from there into a personal hell, fashioned from agonised guilt. This are the shittiest of circles ever made, because I’m making them with knowledge and powerlessness against my own scars?! WTF!!!! There’s nothing quite like your own kid to send you to the depths of personal hatred and self-destruction…hence why so many of us resort to wine, gin, chocolate or drugs…prescription & non, to numb these excruciating reminders of our own short comings.

I’ve been triggered to put this out there by another shitty morning with my 5 year old son! We’ve pretty much endured shitty mornings daily for the last 3 years, ever since he could get himself downstairs, which he does anytime between 5 and 6.30am. Please take into consideration at this point, I have this Joint Hypermobility Syndrome which makes me extraordinarily tired and need lots of sleep, I already go to bed v early to catch up but can’t manage to bounce out of bed with him at this time! He then proceeds, despite years of lengthy explanations, to help himself to whatever he fancies eating – even if it requires stacking furniture precariously to reach it and wasn’t his to begin with! Nothing is safe, he has no concern for the trouble he will get in, whom he will upset….it’s worth the risk to life and limb, the crime is worth the time…it appears!

Coupled with this, and even more troubling as far as I am concerned, he has an addiction to anything electronic…the TV, kindles, laptops, Wii, iPad. Again, please note that I have not given him any of the above, we have my husband to thank for all of these moronic devices. In my son’s ideal World, he would play on any device indefinitely, too much is never enough for him, there is no ‘off’. So he steals them, from wherever I’ve hidden them, and plays on them for as long as he can get away with…at least an hour…before he gets asked to stop. This ALWAYS leads to a terrible meltdown and a refusal to do anything he’s told…like get dressed for school, eat breakfast and so on.

This twisted version of Crystal Maze, where on a nightly basis I hide the remotes/devices (which given how fucked up it feels should be called Crystal Meths), has been going on for for over 3 years. During these dawn raids, we’ve experienced all kinds of stealth missions, including commando crawling across my bedroom floor at 5am in order to attempt retrieval. This particular jaunt involved 3 separate attempts, despite all the warnings and shouting upon discovery, he just waited until I was asleep again each time and then continued, unfortunately for him he bagged his sisters in the darkness and couldn’t get passed the password.?! By which time, my husband got up and put an end to it all…which he doesn’t want to do on a weekend, after a week’s hard graft, but hey, that’s our shared jail sentence now!

So determined is he, that last Saturday out of pure frustration of not being to find latest hiding place, he started on our laptops like a demented version of Goldilocks….He couldn’t get into mine because of my password, he wiped a major document from my husbands before he left his alone and then he broke the keyboard on his sisters….He’s had to use his Christmas money to replace the latter, because this is simply not cricket, and the last in a long line of similar destruction metered out on her seemingly more desirable toys??? Why, we asked him? Apparently, it’s hard to get to the bottom of it, because he doesn’t have a lap top of his own! He’s only 5 FFS!!!! He also thought, if he broke hers she would get a new one and he could have hers?!!!! Commendably logical, but a deformed view of the World I don’t remember teaching?!

The above is pretty much the worst of what he can achieve daily, although this morning he resorted to biting his sister hard because she wouldn’t play with him when they were supposed to be doing chores! And his response to being put outside, because he once again became immobile post telling off and refused to do anything, was to bash in the backdoor with his scooter….The latter, again almost impressive, thinking to unlock the garage and get his scooter out to really make an impact , knowing that would send both his parents over the edge. Which is where I am right now, wondering what the fuck we did so wrong that has got us all to here?…..And has meant I’ve contacted his school, reached out to an excellent child psychologist, sourced out herbal remedies and of course used my oils on him to calm and support him. FYI, I also sat him down, asked him how he was feeling, told him I loved him and reinforced everything good about him before I dispatched him to school….I’m not unwise in my parenting, just terribly human!

And what exactly do I want from my parenting Holy Grail, only to raise two well- adjusted human beings, who love and respect themselves. What do I appear to be raising, ‘Saffy’ from Ab-fab and Denice the Menace! Actually, if my daughter does turn out like ‘Saffy’, I will consider it a job well done.

Feel free to judge me as harshly as you like, it can’t be any harsher than I am doing to myself. Know, if you struggle like me, that you are not alone in this personalised version of karmic hell; And this above is mine! Emotions have 2 sides, too love so deeply and completely has an inverse side, it’s normal and healthy to host dark thoughts in the midst of parenting terror…..Just call for help if you feel the desire to manifest them. And finally, asking for help is a sign of courage not failure. There is not enough of us asking, yet trying to muddle through at the expense of our own personal happiness and wellbeing. Thus further compromising our ability to deliver upon our parenting aspirations, sadly….I think parenting classes/support should be readily available and not as expensive and thus exclusive as they are!!!! Another WTF…this needs to change.


Do you wanna be ‘Slim & Sassy’ for 2019?

My poster girl for Slim & Sassy

I’ve been really slack in getting my oily blogs out there, apologies for that and for keeping this little number to myself for so long. Because I do use this blend and have done since my beginning with doTERRA. So I’ve effectively been product testing…..With Imbolc impending, http://celticwitchmama.com/witches-dont-balk-at-imbolc-the-next-sabat-is-coming-to-re-birth-your-vibe/,this is the perfect time to loose weight in a natural sustainable way.

If you are like me, middle-aged with a body ravaged by childbirth in the throes of menopause – gosh doesn’t that sounds oh so frickin wonderbar – you might be carrying some unwelcome flab in the zone between your knees and boobs….basically over a third of your body? Or maybe you want to stop coping with the stresses and strains of survival in our World, with chocolate, crisps and or wine? Or perhaps you’ve had an operation where recovery has limited your mobility and those pounds have piled on?

Whatever your reasons, this could be the oil for you…It’s 100% natural, calorie free, makes you feel good, whilst boosting your metabolism in a healthy way. I know from my personal research, that the market is flooded with weight loss products relying heavily on stimulating your poor digestive system beyond comfort and tying you uncomfortably to the toilet…..basically not good for you in the least, potentially damaging and socially catastrophic. With all my personal health blights, I can only go ‘au natural’ with weight loss.

So what magic does this little bottle contain that makes it so successful and delicious? Yes it tastes really good! Some of the ingredients will be familiar to you if you’ve weight loss form, especially if you’ve investigated the natural approach.

First up we have Grapefruit oil, this is the number 1 power in weight loss. This naturally increases your energy levels and metabolism, plus helps curb your sugar cravings. It’s a natural detoxification agent, helping the liver cleanse the body of toxins and waste, plus activate your lymphatic system and control fluid retention. All by itself it’s pretty fantastic, click if you want more…. https://draxe.com/grapefruit-essential-oil/

Next up is Lemon oil, I’ve already blogged about the wonders of Luscious Lemon, http://celticwitchmama.com/if-life-gives-you-lemons-youve-been-seriously-gifted/  One of its weight loosing gift’s is the high levels of pectin it holds. Gelatinous pectin, homemade jam makers’s delight, works by absorbing water and expanding, distending the stomach and triggering stretch receptors. These receptors then tell your brain your stomach is full, so it releases the hormones to make you feel satiated. Not only that, this marvel slows digestion down, which makes you feel fuller for longer. Here’s a good article to give you more on that https://www.livestrong.com/article/314710-pectin-weight-loss/

Additionally, lemon also contains d-limonene, which is known to help support your metabolism and cleanse your lymphatic glands. These little pea sized nodules are home to your white blood calls, which are your army against bacteria and disease…fairly fundamental! I recommend you use lemon oil everyday….because why wouldn’t you?

Next up we have Peppermint oil, which I refer to in this blog http://celticwitchmama.com/minty-the-coolest-of-bitches/ This fresh lady, just simply removes or reduces your hunger and cravings…er yes please! Her freshness alleviates diet induced brain fog and gets your brain to release your endurance chemicals, allowing you to max out your workout. Her minty-ness will help you to digest like a dream by stimulating your intestines and dissolving your stomach bulging noxious gases. She also stimulates your flow of bile, so anything you do consume will be dispatched quickly through your body with little time to stick around and convert into fat….

Then there’s Ginger Root oil, the 2nd best weight looser, this warming little number contains compounds to boost your intestines ability to absorb vitamins and minerals by reducing inflammation. She also curbs your sugar cravings….

And finally, we have Cinnamon Bark oil, number 3 in the weight loosing line up. This potent lady helps to stabilise your blood sugar and insulin release, keeping those sugar cravings in check and stops you stuffing your face…handy and vital at 1am after a heavy nights drinking perhaps? So shout out to those with diabetes, this is the oil you want to look into.

On their own each of these oily ladies is a mine of wealthy, healthy support, BUT combined they are a force majeure!

So how can you use Slim and Sassy….you can add it to water and drink it when you have a craving or before meals to curb your desires to over eat; dilute 4 drops in 4fl.oz of liquid. I put it in my water bottle and swig at it all day. Try to stick with using water, its calorie free and really the best possible thing in the World to drink, health-wise, and it won’t distract the oils from doing their job.

You can put a couple of drops in your carrier oil and rub it into your flabby bits, it has cellulite reducing properties!!!! I’d say it removes it, but this will depend on how much you’ve got and your body type etc. No wild claims here!

For those that love a diffuse, this requires about 3 – 4 drops. Imagine what a different place the office could be with this oil scenting the air and stopping all that temptation…..or in my case, the couch after dark……

And there is even a bath detox option, 2 cups Epsom salt, 1 cup baking soda, 10 drops slim and sassy (mix the oil with Epsom salts so it doesn’t float to the top) and soak for 20+ minutes 2-3 times a week.

Of course there are shakes and pills available, this is doTERRA after all, if you can’t stomach the oil in a drink format….there is something for everyone, so no one is exempt from this baby. x

Witches, don’t balk at Imbolc….the next Sabat is coming to re-birth your vibe!

Hello my friends, and a Happy 2019! I have returned to my road and almost my physical body…the latter, a work in progress. Apparently, and according to my healer, I’ve tried to follow my Father into the After Life, leaving my body and existing somewhere in betwixt these two places. I know this to be true, primarily because it’s been so blankety blank but really because in my sorrow, I’ve craved an earthly departure, wishing fiercely to be in Dad’s company again. But not in an ordinary where’s the wrist cutter/noose/pills way, I don’t wish to kill off my current life and leave my kids. It’s not as simple as that….So don’t call 111 just yet, I am definitely not suicidal!

Nothing in this grief has been clear cut or looks like it will be for a while yet…. I hadn’t appreciated, in my former far more comfortable ignorance, what a seismic transformer death could be. I thought, someone dies, you grieve and time heals – slowly. And perhaps for some it never goes beyond that. But for me, this is monumental and has blown a massive crater in my aura, which now needs a whole heap of deep processing to heal. We’re talking the Tower in Tarot terms, with elements of The Fool and me needing to channel my inner King of Cups.

Hideous real Hornet’s Nest

So my main focus now has to be upon on calming this hornet’s nest of unprocessed with emotions, I didn’t even know I grown. For this, I have found a lovely therapist, to help me spin the cotton candy of my mind. I promise to share what I can of my dark candyfloss, in case it can be of use and support to you. But as I can’t say much more than that at this moment, as the King of Cups, I am going to further enlighten your spiritual self with deets (agreed, hideous word but couldn’t resist) upon the up and coming Sabat…Which, incidentally, is all about spiritual purification and dedication….perfect synchronicity, ‘tous jours’. And I know a lot of you out there are feeling rather glum at the moment, so here’s to hoping this brings you some light…if you want it…some of us love to wallow in the darkness…and that’s fine…we’re our own responsibilities!

From sunset 1st February until Midnight on the 2nd February, we can celebrate Imbolc, or Groundhog’s Day to the Americans….yup not just an annoying movie title! This celestially, is the halfway point between Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox, ‘and so above’. We’re nearly there folks! In Paganism/Witchcraft, it symbolises Earth/Mother Nature akaThe Goddess, in puberty with her belly full of ripening seeds….’and so below’. FYI, we Witches frequently express, and so above and so below‘ to reaffirm the link between the sun, moon, stars, ourselves and the Earth….The origins of this truism can be seen on the ‘Emerald Tablet of Hermes Trismegistus’, no less.  Tell me have you seen it? (last bit sung MilliVanilli style – because we know it really wasn’t them)

Historically, and I always like to prove provenance with a little pragmatism, this was the traditional lambing season in the old World. Whence this celebration was known as Oimelc, meaning milk of ewes, which really was coming in or flowing at this point in the year. One famous ancient we all know, Cleopatra, was a keen disciple of milk cleansing! Farmers consecrated their tools at this time and blessed their seeds. Not sure why this is not still the case? Do remember to ask your local farmer….If you are a farmer, please do let us know.

Imbolc, is a ‘proto-Indo-European’ word,  meaning both “milk” and “cleansing” (Cheers Wiki), but in Irish Gaelic, means ‘in the belly’. The Goddess is referred to as Brigid/Brighid for this time, she the Celtic Fire Goddess, patron of smithcraft, healing, midwifery and poetry. It’s her season until the 21st March, to prep for growth and renewal, she is the Bride and manifestation of protection and prosperity.

I am sure the Christians morphed this into their Holy Communion, with young virgins wearing white and pledging themselves to God, it’s too uncanny. They certainly superimposed Imbolc, making it St. Brigit’s Day and February 2 became Candlemas, the day to make and bless candles for the liturgical year or take down your Christmas decs in some countries. It also became known as their festival of the ‘Purification of the Virgin Mary’, a time which, according to judeo-christian rule, a woman must be purified forty days after childbirth as she had been made unclean by the event! How fucking rude!!!!

Have you ever seen a corn dolly? This is an earthly manifestation of Brighid, traditionally fashioned from oat or wheat straw by young maidens and laid in a basket upon a blanket of white flowers/shells etc, like a bride. On the eve of the 31st January, when it was reckoned that Brighid was wandering on earth, all these young girls gathered together in 1 house and stayed up all night….’party’! On that night, each member of the household placed bit of cloths on the hearth for Brighid to bless and bestow with healing and protective powers, as she passed; the morning’s ashes were closely examined for signs of her presence. On the 1st February, those young maidens would then, in procession, take their dollies on a village ‘knock round’ with the adult women placing gifts of food or money in their baskets. The head of the household was responsible for putting out the home hearth fire and then relighting it, whilst placing a broom by the front door to symbolise sweeping out the old and welcoming in the new. Candles would be lit in each room to honour the re-birth of the Sun. Given the cost of candles in those days, you can see how important this festival was.

Today, Brighid’s Crosses are still fashioned from wheat stalks and exchanged as symbols of protection and prosperity in the coming year.

To mark this occasion yourself, I can give you a couple of options and you can choose how far you’d like to take this, there are many more but I need to keep this brief. Know that Imbolc is the time for initiation and healing, for reclaiming what has been forgotten. To maximise your power and the magical alchemy of Imbolc, use the collecting energy manifesting from this change in seasons, (we’re entering the active phase of the year, nature is ripening), in conjunction with your intuitive unconscious energy; the inner wisdom you gained during your winter months of soulful contemplation…You chose that instead of submitting to the social pressure to climbing aboard the festive merry-go-round didn’t you? Ha, she cackles, you didn’t know but next time you will! And perhaps next Winter you won’t fight your inherent desire to baton down the hatches, look your true self in the mirror, love, learn and accept, to re-emerge as a brand new butterfly, in time to party at Winter Solstice.

Our intuitive flashes and sparks of inspiration are needed more than ever to complement the active rational approach which dominates our western life-style. (Source: EarthPathway’s Diary)

At the most accessible level, you could light a candle or lamps in each room of the house right after sunset for a few minutes to honour the Sun’s rebirth on the eve of the 31st January. Use candles of either white, pink, red, yellow, green or brown, to light the way for Brighid. And on the 1st February, take a walk in nature to hunt crocuses and or snowdrops, the first heralds of spring, and take time to consider any spiritual vows or commitments you would like to make or reviews previous ones.

If you happen to possess an established altar, clean it and carry out a self purification rite with Elemental tools, invoking Brigid for creative inspiration. Use your salt (Earth) to cleanse your body, incense (Air) for your thoughts, a candle flame (Fire) for your will, water (Water) for your emotions and a healing crystal (Spirit) for your spiritual body. Semi precious stones and crystals of Imbolc include Amethyst, Bloodstone, Garnet, Ruby, Onyx, Turquoise. Bless any candles you plan to use for the remaining annual rituals.

Onwards and upwards mes Chers! xx

‘Vicks’ you old devil, it’s not over, I still need you…..

I appears that I am grieving in 3D, I’ve been consistently unwell since he died! And enduring 6 weeks of ill health, is royally fucking me over…. or perhaps it’s just the fall out from Christmas???? Stuck in a glass elevator, I ride my tides up and down, perpetually in motion, never quite arriving or being present… anywhere. Lost, shadowed, immobilised, grounded, dulled, sad, mournful, angry, socially phobic; what a mixed and uncomfortable bag this is! It certainly hasn’t enabled any writing, and I wonder, from my glassy distance, whether this stale joylessness will lend to rather prosaic content? I hope, well as much as I can muster right now, it really fucking doesn’t because I love my blogging!

In amidst all my physical sufferance, I’ve had to re-admit an old friend to my inner circle, actually a few old faithfuls in truth! In the case of dear old Vicks, who was forcibly ejected when, at the start of my oily journey, I was reminded of our skin’s potent absorbency; often overlooked to our detriment. Upon checking his particular credentials, I’d discovered with horror he contained not only petroleum but also the spirit of turpentine; the latter sounding very Dickensian! Neither welcome in my body….With the others, namely paracetamol and lemsip, I’ve always known of the damage they can do to livers and avoid where possible….

However, in this bleak mid-Winter and because the World’s greatest plant essences don’t seem to be able to defeat this atrociously determined virus, I’ve relaxed my defences and re-welcomed this mentholated friend and his mates. Enjoying once again, his camphoric anaesthetisation, his warm minty fingers on my chest…and their analgesic qualities. There is something wonderfully comforting about the familiar, when sailing through so much unchartered water. Besides, what a little turps between friends? And really, don’t they all originate from nature….turps from pine trees, petroleum from fossil fuels, etc….everything in moderation eh? Liver’s regenerate themselves over time….

So please dear reader, if you have any spare prayers please use them for me. I need all the help I can get to transcend these grief induced illnesses. Or perhaps this is just an unavoidable part of the deep mourning ‘ride’????? FML